I want you, but I don't need you...

The hubby and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary yesterday, and it felt great to know that 10 years later, I still love him with my whole heart, and I would still choose him all over again if given the choice. Don't get me wrong, we've had our ups and downs just like any other couple, but we've worked to maintain our relationship and helped it to evolve and change when it needed to in order to keep us happily together.

I found myself thinking yesterday about how short ten years seems, but it's still an accomplishment in these times where divorce is so much more common. That got me thinking further as to what has kept my hubby and me together for these ten years, and while we were discussing between us the "secret" to a long and happy marriage, this is where we found ourselves - we love each other, and we want each other in our lives, but we don't "need" each other. Okay, at first read, this sounded bad to me. What?! We don't NEED each other?! and the answer is - no. Let me explain a little further...

Each of us is happy and content within ourselves. We don't put the pressure on the other to create that happiness for us, because that is something everyone, and I mean everyone, has to find for themselves. You are responsible for your own happiness and joy. You have to find those things in life, and then, when you have found them and can independently be happy, you can share with others, and they with you, and you can enhance each others' happiness even more. The "icing on the cake" if you will. Too many people are constantly relying on others to make them happy or to boost their confidence or lead them where they need to be and will place the blame on them instantly the minute they don't feel things are how they want them to be, but true happiness, confidence and guidance comes from within - the rest, the external stuff, is just bonus candy. So, while I adore my hubby and WANT him in my life forever, and love the extra happiness and confidence that he provides me with, I don't NEED it. I don't need him, I don't require him, I CHOOSE him.