I want you, but I don't need you...

The hubby and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary yesterday, and it felt great to know that 10 years later, I still love him with my whole heart, and I would still choose him all over again if given the choice. Don't get me wrong, we've had our ups and downs just like any other couple, but we've worked to maintain our relationship and helped it to evolve and change when it needed to in order to keep us happily together.

I found myself thinking yesterday about how short ten years seems, but it's still an accomplishment in these times where divorce is so much more common. That got me thinking further as to what has kept my hubby and me together for these ten years, and while we were discussing between us the "secret" to a long and happy marriage, this is where we found ourselves - we love each other, and we want each other in our lives, but we don't "need" each other. Okay, at first read, this sounded bad to me. What?! We don't NEED each other?! and the answer is - no. Let me explain a little further...

Each of us is happy and content within ourselves. We don't put the pressure on the other to create that happiness for us, because that is something everyone, and I mean everyone, has to find for themselves. You are responsible for your own happiness and joy. You have to find those things in life, and then, when you have found them and can independently be happy, you can share with others, and they with you, and you can enhance each others' happiness even more. The "icing on the cake" if you will. Too many people are constantly relying on others to make them happy or to boost their confidence or lead them where they need to be and will place the blame on them instantly the minute they don't feel things are how they want them to be, but true happiness, confidence and guidance comes from within - the rest, the external stuff, is just bonus candy. So, while I adore my hubby and WANT him in my life forever, and love the extra happiness and confidence that he provides me with, I don't NEED it. I don't need him, I don't require him, I CHOOSE him.

Love for the Keurig

Is it wrong to love an appliance? because I'm pretty sure I'm best friends with my Keurig. I got very excited this morning when I discovered the box amidst all the stacks of boxes still waiting to be unpacked in the new kitchen. Felt a little like Christmas morning pulling my beloved machine from the box and finding just the right spot for it. I've had it for about 6 months, and I still get just as excited every time I pop in the canister and push the little button to brew a cup of tea. It's the perfect little thing for someone like me. I drink a cup of tea in the morning and then sometimes a cup in the afternoon or evening when I sit down to relax. Is it just as easy to heat up the kettle or pop a mug of water in the microwave? sure, but it's just so much more fun to push the button and listen the the whir of the Keurig! I'm not sure why, but it is. I could see it not being the best choice for a family that drinks a lot of coffee or tea, since you brew each cup individually, but for me - perfection! In fact, I'm enjoying a delightful cup of tea as I type this. Cheers!

Why I Love Plastic Totes

I know, it's kind of a weird thing to love, right?! Plastic totes? but I do - I love them. Let me tell you why...

I am a neat freak. I have to have my things organized as you can tell from checking out some of my organizational posts over at http://awisewomansaid.blogspot.com/. Everything needs it's own little place. It's actually kind of funny, because I'm not necessarily a "clean" freak. I can go a long time without dusting or vacuuming no problem (maybe I shouldn't admit that), but if things are scattered about or cluttered it drives me mad...mad I tell ya! (By the way - you're supposed to imagine me shaking my fists in the air while I shout that part) In all my organizing glory, I have tried many options including pretty little baskets, buckets, drawers, fabric bins...you get the idea, but the plastic bins and totes with lids seem to be the winner. Not only do they hold up the best, they can be wiped down easily if they get dirty or dusty, they also stack well and here's the best part.....drumroll please...if you need to rearrange or move it makes things SO easy! I am currently in the process of packing up the house to move, and I have been so pleased by how little packing I am having to do. I already keep so many items organized in totes with lids that all we're gonna have to do is close them up, maybe secure the lid with a little tape, and voila! ready to load in the truck. It has really reduced my packing time and my need to hunt down more boxes for packing.

So, next time you're doing some organizing, and you're trying to choose between adorable fabric lined baskets...skips those and go for the plastic totes instead!

No, It's Not Okay to Be Fat and Proud

Alright - I might get a little flamed for this one, but I'm gonna do it anyway - guess what ladies...it is NOT okay to be fat and proud of it. This comment arises, because I have been seeing more and more articles and commentary on body acceptance lately. Real women have curves, real women eat cake, real women are not a size 6....you get the idea. And I get it, I do, and I fully support the concept of loving your body rather than living in self hatred, but something that's getting left out is that part of loving your body is taking care of it and keeping it healthy. This does not mean it's okay to be complacent with being 50 pounds overweight. This does not mean it's okay to eat a diet of nothing but empty calories and fatty, sugar-filled foods. Before anyone asks - no, this is not coming from a size 2, perfect body who exercises all the time and never eats junk food, but I do feel the line is being crossed between loving and accepting the differences in our bodies versus accepting it is okay and the norm to be overweight and unhealthy. We all have different body types - curvy, flat, larger hips, no hips, larger butts, that little belly pooch that never goes away for some of us after having kids (I speak from experience on that one), and I completely agree that we need to love those quirks about ourselves - say it with me - my boobs now sag, but I love them anyway! It is what makes us all unique and some of it is just our genetics or what happens as we age. I do, however, have a problem with women who consistently avoid exercise and eat processed, unhealthy, high calorie foods and are proud of the state that their bodies are in. Love your body, yes, but take care of it! Just because a large portion of American women are larger these days does not mean it is okay and something to embrace. If you're eating plenty of healthy foods, exercising your body and mind, and your body is still not  in "perfect" shape - love it anyway! I'm totally on board with that! Don't beat yourself up trying to look 20 years younger or like the models you see in ads that never eat a carb, but if you're just plain overweight as a result of fueling yourself with indulgent foods and exercise to you is walking to the end of the driveway to get the mail - you might want to take a second look. May I also add that it's just as bad to deprive your body of ever having a carb, to eat an unhealthy small amount of nourishment or to follow these wacky fad diets. I'm not just picking on the overweight ladies here. It's about being healthy. It's about proper nutrition and exercise. Take care of your bodies, ladies, that's how to love them! Just my two cents.

How Do Military Moms Manage?

I admit, I have a pretty great life, so I hate to complain. It makes me feel petty considering all those others out there that lead a much harder life than I could ever imagine, but the hubby just left again this morning for an entire week out of town for work, and I'm feeling the "poor me, I already miss him so much" blues. I think that has been the hardest part to get used to after the job change and the move - the travel part. It makes me wonder how single moms or military wives do it? and no - before anyone gets all up in arms over it - I am most certainly NOT insinuating that my situation is as difficult as theirs. I cannot even begin to think about the prospect of the hubby being gone for months, years even. I do think it's harder when he has been home for a week - like this past week - and then when he leaves again I just feel that missing part. I'm also feeling his absence a bit more, because we are in the middle of purchasing a home (which we are CRAZY excited about! more on that later), and so I am left here packing things, dealing with home inspections and other what not without him. Don't get me wrong, I am perfectly capable and confident to handle these things, but it is nice to have him here to share it with. I guess I should look at this from a positive perspective. My hubby is genuinely an awesome guy, our relationship is great, and I enjoy his company so much that I do genuinely miss him when he's gone. And I do feel very thankful to have a few friends and my kiddos here with me to brighten my days. The little one and I do have lots of fun on our own too. For instance, we've dubbed Mondays as "Movie Monday", and each week we have been taking turns picking a movie to watch together while we have a treat - usually something that we've cooked up together in the kitchen. It's fun to hang out together, and I am enjoying introducing her to some of my favorite older movies. Tonight it's brownies and The Music Man, so yeah - life could definitely be worse. ;)

A Local Perspective on the Tornado in Moore, OK

Living through your first storm season in Oklahoma is, I guess, a little like an induction into being an official resident of the state. I'm not a stranger to storms having moved to Oklahoma from Florida - trading the threat of a hurricane for the threat of tornadoes. It's funny when I really stop to consider it, because I am a person who likes to avoid risk. I like certainty and routine, so why in the world would I choose 2 places to live that are so volatile and known for their severe weather threats?

I saw several hurricanes come and go while living in Florida, and while we did see the random aftermath in our local communities, it was never anything terribly severe. We lived inland, so aside from some wind damage and loss of power, we really didn't witness the degree of devastation that I have recently been confronted with after this past week in Oklahoma. This is all new to me - living so close to the confusion created by a powerful tornado. Our little town of Norman, OK goes on like normal, untouched for the most part, but just a 5 minute car ride down the road to our neighboring city of Moore offers a completely different view, but not necessarily the view that the rest of the world sees. I want to share that alternate view, because it offered me some peace, and maybe it will do the same for you.

At first, I was very hesitant to go anywhere near Moore, partly out of respect - keeping distance so as not to add to the already cluttered, parking lot that I-35 had become during the days following the storm, but also, I kept my distance, because I did not want to see the destruction. Didn't want to come face to face with the reality that a few miles meant the difference between our town and theirs. Knowing that we could have just as easily been placed in the path of the monster. But something happened as I rode through the streets of Moore - I began to feel relief. You see, while the destruction is overwhelming in the path where the tornado ripped it's way through town, the majority of the town remains standing. Yes, it's covered in mud, trash and debris, but it is still standing, strong as ever. There are shopping centers and complete neighborhoods untouched. There are schools and churches ready to operate as normal. And, most importantly, the majority of Moore's residents are alive and well and bustling around town - cleaning, helping their neighbors, attending to business and carrying on with their lives. It gave me a great feeling of hope and reassurance to see that life does go on in Moore, OK.

Something else that made me feel comforted as well - seeing the number of people helping out - serving food to anyone in need, booths set up for insurance claims to be filed, trucks coming in from all over the country to help with debris removal support and any other type of support needed to help these good people clean up and rebuild. I hope the country will continue pouring their efforts into this town. It feels good to know that if tragedy strikes, there is an overwhelming level of support available. Most of all, seeing how Oklahoma folks rush to aid and support their fellow residents has touched me in such a way that as I approach my one year anniversary of living here, I feel proud to belong to this state.

I mourn those that were lost, and I offer comfort and strength to those that lost loved ones or their homes and belongings. I am most certainly not downplaying or ignoring the fact that many lives were painfully touched by this tragedy. I agree that even the loss of one person is too much, but in a completely honest voice, I have to say that given the amount of people and homes and businesses in Moore, I am so amazed and thankful that based on the size and power of that tornado the destruction was not even greater. So, when you're seeing on the news a stretch of nothingness and flattened homes and death, please feel at least slightly comforted knowing that much of Moore is alive and well - even though it is not shown to you, and that those strong people will recover from this. Mother Nature pulled her strongest punch on Moore, OK, and they responded by standing back up, dusting themselves off and beginning to move courageously forward.

The Old Lady Within

I'm pretty sure that somewhere deep down inside I am just a little old lady in disguise. Why do I say that you ask? Well, mostly, because I have recently realized that I have an intense love for things made of crystal or lace - things like random crystal bowls and lace handkerchiefs - things that make me picture those little old ladies that have lace doilies with an ornate crystal candy dish on them somewhere in their living room. You know the ones. If you're around my age, I'll bet your grandma had or still has one or two in her house. This revelation hit me after I got home from shopping recently and realized that the two new tops I had purchased were both antique lace-ish. I think what I like about lace and crystal is that they are so delicate and elegant. Okay - and they make me feel fancy! There, I said it, and it sounds kind of funny to me too, so go ahead and laugh at me a little. Funny thing is - I don't think I have any lace or glass items currently included in my household decor. Hmmmm....maybe I should embrace my inner old lady and set out a nice candy dish in the family room.