You're NOT my mom...

When the hubby and I moved in together many moons ago (okay, it was 12 1/2 years ago, but many moons sounds more dramatic), it was a package deal. See, I not only got a terrific guy in my life, but I also got his little girl. She was around 2 at the time, and I will never forget the initial terrifying feeling the first time she called him daddy in front of me, and I realized that this was a HUGE very real deal. If I decided to move in with and possibly marry this man, it meant that I had to also be willing to be an "instant mom" to this sweet little girl. Could I love her the way she deserved? Could I be a good mom? Was I ready for all this? Long story a little shorter - I took the leap and never looked back. And, I've been lucky as she has always been this reasonable, sweet, laid back child for the most part. She and I accepted each other with open arms and hearts, and I have always felt fortunate to call her my daughter.

I have always tried to treat her the way that I would if she were my own daughter by birth, and although she doesn't have the most healthy relationship with her biological mom, I have never tried to push my way in, because I acknowledge that I am not technically her mother. I have tried to be the mother that she needs and deserves without pushing. I know as a mother to my own little one now that I would have a BIG problem with anyone else trying to mother my little girl, so I try my best to respect that boundary where my stepdaughter and her mother's relationship is concerned, even if I feel that she doesn't deserve "mom of the year". It hasn't always been easy. Being a stepparent is a tricky thing, and unfortunately, I know way too many stepparent/stepchild relationships that are not in a good place.

Although my stepdaughter and I have always had a good relationship, I've often wondered if the day would come - the dreaded day - where we would butt heads (because we do from time to time - I mean, she IS a teenager after all), and those horrible words would come out of her mouth - "You're NOT my mom!" We all know how teens can be, and it would not be a shock for that moment to happen during one of their "I know everything, and you can't tell me otherwise" rants. What I didn't expect, what left me a little speechless and unprepared, and what brought tears to my eyes quicker than the previous comment might have was to hear the following words from my stepdaughter last night... "I know that my mom gave birth to me, and she is my "mom", but in all other ways, you have always been my mom - you ARE my mom, and you're a great mom." Talk about a flood of emotion! I felt love, gratitude, relief...knowing that she gets it. Without using the words through these years, she felt it, she knows that I've done my best to be a mother to her in every way that I know how. That's all I'll ever need to know - that she feels that she has had a mom (and a "good" one at that), because everyone deserves to have that. I know I shouldn't have needed to hear that - simply knowing it in my own heart should be enough - but it felt great nonetheless, and I feel even more appreciative that this amazing little girl forever changed me 12 1/2 years ago and continues to do so.

I want you, but I don't need you...

The hubby and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary yesterday, and it felt great to know that 10 years later, I still love him with my whole heart, and I would still choose him all over again if given the choice. Don't get me wrong, we've had our ups and downs just like any other couple, but we've worked to maintain our relationship and helped it to evolve and change when it needed to in order to keep us happily together.

I found myself thinking yesterday about how short ten years seems, but it's still an accomplishment in these times where divorce is so much more common. That got me thinking further as to what has kept my hubby and me together for these ten years, and while we were discussing between us the "secret" to a long and happy marriage, this is where we found ourselves - we love each other, and we want each other in our lives, but we don't "need" each other. Okay, at first read, this sounded bad to me. What?! We don't NEED each other?! and the answer is - no. Let me explain a little further...

Each of us is happy and content within ourselves. We don't put the pressure on the other to create that happiness for us, because that is something everyone, and I mean everyone, has to find for themselves. You are responsible for your own happiness and joy. You have to find those things in life, and then, when you have found them and can independently be happy, you can share with others, and they with you, and you can enhance each others' happiness even more. The "icing on the cake" if you will. Too many people are constantly relying on others to make them happy or to boost their confidence or lead them where they need to be and will place the blame on them instantly the minute they don't feel things are how they want them to be, but true happiness, confidence and guidance comes from within - the rest, the external stuff, is just bonus candy. So, while I adore my hubby and WANT him in my life forever, and love the extra happiness and confidence that he provides me with, I don't NEED it. I don't need him, I don't require him, I CHOOSE him.

Love for the Keurig

Is it wrong to love an appliance? because I'm pretty sure I'm best friends with my Keurig. I got very excited this morning when I discovered the box amidst all the stacks of boxes still waiting to be unpacked in the new kitchen. Felt a little like Christmas morning pulling my beloved machine from the box and finding just the right spot for it. I've had it for about 6 months, and I still get just as excited every time I pop in the canister and push the little button to brew a cup of tea. It's the perfect little thing for someone like me. I drink a cup of tea in the morning and then sometimes a cup in the afternoon or evening when I sit down to relax. Is it just as easy to heat up the kettle or pop a mug of water in the microwave? sure, but it's just so much more fun to push the button and listen the the whir of the Keurig! I'm not sure why, but it is. I could see it not being the best choice for a family that drinks a lot of coffee or tea, since you brew each cup individually, but for me - perfection! In fact, I'm enjoying a delightful cup of tea as I type this. Cheers!

Why I Love Plastic Totes

I know, it's kind of a weird thing to love, right?! Plastic totes? but I do - I love them. Let me tell you why...

I am a neat freak. I have to have my things organized as you can tell from checking out some of my organizational posts over at http://awisewomansaid.blogspot.com/. Everything needs it's own little place. It's actually kind of funny, because I'm not necessarily a "clean" freak. I can go a long time without dusting or vacuuming no problem (maybe I shouldn't admit that), but if things are scattered about or cluttered it drives me mad...mad I tell ya! (By the way - you're supposed to imagine me shaking my fists in the air while I shout that part) In all my organizing glory, I have tried many options including pretty little baskets, buckets, drawers, fabric bins...you get the idea, but the plastic bins and totes with lids seem to be the winner. Not only do they hold up the best, they can be wiped down easily if they get dirty or dusty, they also stack well and here's the best part.....drumroll please...if you need to rearrange or move it makes things SO easy! I am currently in the process of packing up the house to move, and I have been so pleased by how little packing I am having to do. I already keep so many items organized in totes with lids that all we're gonna have to do is close them up, maybe secure the lid with a little tape, and voila! ready to load in the truck. It has really reduced my packing time and my need to hunt down more boxes for packing.

So, next time you're doing some organizing, and you're trying to choose between adorable fabric lined baskets...skips those and go for the plastic totes instead!

No, It's Not Okay to Be Fat and Proud

Alright - I might get a little flamed for this one, but I'm gonna do it anyway - guess what ladies...it is NOT okay to be fat and proud of it. This comment arises, because I have been seeing more and more articles and commentary on body acceptance lately. Real women have curves, real women eat cake, real women are not a size 6....you get the idea. And I get it, I do, and I fully support the concept of loving your body rather than living in self hatred, but something that's getting left out is that part of loving your body is taking care of it and keeping it healthy. This does not mean it's okay to be complacent with being 50 pounds overweight. This does not mean it's okay to eat a diet of nothing but empty calories and fatty, sugar-filled foods. Before anyone asks - no, this is not coming from a size 2, perfect body who exercises all the time and never eats junk food, but I do feel the line is being crossed between loving and accepting the differences in our bodies versus accepting it is okay and the norm to be overweight and unhealthy. We all have different body types - curvy, flat, larger hips, no hips, larger butts, that little belly pooch that never goes away for some of us after having kids (I speak from experience on that one), and I completely agree that we need to love those quirks about ourselves - say it with me - my boobs now sag, but I love them anyway! It is what makes us all unique and some of it is just our genetics or what happens as we age. I do, however, have a problem with women who consistently avoid exercise and eat processed, unhealthy, high calorie foods and are proud of the state that their bodies are in. Love your body, yes, but take care of it! Just because a large portion of American women are larger these days does not mean it is okay and something to embrace. If you're eating plenty of healthy foods, exercising your body and mind, and your body is still not  in "perfect" shape - love it anyway! I'm totally on board with that! Don't beat yourself up trying to look 20 years younger or like the models you see in ads that never eat a carb, but if you're just plain overweight as a result of fueling yourself with indulgent foods and exercise to you is walking to the end of the driveway to get the mail - you might want to take a second look. May I also add that it's just as bad to deprive your body of ever having a carb, to eat an unhealthy small amount of nourishment or to follow these wacky fad diets. I'm not just picking on the overweight ladies here. It's about being healthy. It's about proper nutrition and exercise. Take care of your bodies, ladies, that's how to love them! Just my two cents.

How Do Military Moms Manage?

I admit, I have a pretty great life, so I hate to complain. It makes me feel petty considering all those others out there that lead a much harder life than I could ever imagine, but the hubby just left again this morning for an entire week out of town for work, and I'm feeling the "poor me, I already miss him so much" blues. I think that has been the hardest part to get used to after the job change and the move - the travel part. It makes me wonder how single moms or military wives do it? and no - before anyone gets all up in arms over it - I am most certainly NOT insinuating that my situation is as difficult as theirs. I cannot even begin to think about the prospect of the hubby being gone for months, years even. I do think it's harder when he has been home for a week - like this past week - and then when he leaves again I just feel that missing part. I'm also feeling his absence a bit more, because we are in the middle of purchasing a home (which we are CRAZY excited about! more on that later), and so I am left here packing things, dealing with home inspections and other what not without him. Don't get me wrong, I am perfectly capable and confident to handle these things, but it is nice to have him here to share it with. I guess I should look at this from a positive perspective. My hubby is genuinely an awesome guy, our relationship is great, and I enjoy his company so much that I do genuinely miss him when he's gone. And I do feel very thankful to have a few friends and my kiddos here with me to brighten my days. The little one and I do have lots of fun on our own too. For instance, we've dubbed Mondays as "Movie Monday", and each week we have been taking turns picking a movie to watch together while we have a treat - usually something that we've cooked up together in the kitchen. It's fun to hang out together, and I am enjoying introducing her to some of my favorite older movies. Tonight it's brownies and The Music Man, so yeah - life could definitely be worse. ;)

A Local Perspective on the Tornado in Moore, OK

Living through your first storm season in Oklahoma is, I guess, a little like an induction into being an official resident of the state. I'm not a stranger to storms having moved to Oklahoma from Florida - trading the threat of a hurricane for the threat of tornadoes. It's funny when I really stop to consider it, because I am a person who likes to avoid risk. I like certainty and routine, so why in the world would I choose 2 places to live that are so volatile and known for their severe weather threats?

I saw several hurricanes come and go while living in Florida, and while we did see the random aftermath in our local communities, it was never anything terribly severe. We lived inland, so aside from some wind damage and loss of power, we really didn't witness the degree of devastation that I have recently been confronted with after this past week in Oklahoma. This is all new to me - living so close to the confusion created by a powerful tornado. Our little town of Norman, OK goes on like normal, untouched for the most part, but just a 5 minute car ride down the road to our neighboring city of Moore offers a completely different view, but not necessarily the view that the rest of the world sees. I want to share that alternate view, because it offered me some peace, and maybe it will do the same for you.

At first, I was very hesitant to go anywhere near Moore, partly out of respect - keeping distance so as not to add to the already cluttered, parking lot that I-35 had become during the days following the storm, but also, I kept my distance, because I did not want to see the destruction. Didn't want to come face to face with the reality that a few miles meant the difference between our town and theirs. Knowing that we could have just as easily been placed in the path of the monster. But something happened as I rode through the streets of Moore - I began to feel relief. You see, while the destruction is overwhelming in the path where the tornado ripped it's way through town, the majority of the town remains standing. Yes, it's covered in mud, trash and debris, but it is still standing, strong as ever. There are shopping centers and complete neighborhoods untouched. There are schools and churches ready to operate as normal. And, most importantly, the majority of Moore's residents are alive and well and bustling around town - cleaning, helping their neighbors, attending to business and carrying on with their lives. It gave me a great feeling of hope and reassurance to see that life does go on in Moore, OK.

Something else that made me feel comforted as well - seeing the number of people helping out - serving food to anyone in need, booths set up for insurance claims to be filed, trucks coming in from all over the country to help with debris removal support and any other type of support needed to help these good people clean up and rebuild. I hope the country will continue pouring their efforts into this town. It feels good to know that if tragedy strikes, there is an overwhelming level of support available. Most of all, seeing how Oklahoma folks rush to aid and support their fellow residents has touched me in such a way that as I approach my one year anniversary of living here, I feel proud to belong to this state.

I mourn those that were lost, and I offer comfort and strength to those that lost loved ones or their homes and belongings. I am most certainly not downplaying or ignoring the fact that many lives were painfully touched by this tragedy. I agree that even the loss of one person is too much, but in a completely honest voice, I have to say that given the amount of people and homes and businesses in Moore, I am so amazed and thankful that based on the size and power of that tornado the destruction was not even greater. So, when you're seeing on the news a stretch of nothingness and flattened homes and death, please feel at least slightly comforted knowing that much of Moore is alive and well - even though it is not shown to you, and that those strong people will recover from this. Mother Nature pulled her strongest punch on Moore, OK, and they responded by standing back up, dusting themselves off and beginning to move courageously forward.

The Old Lady Within

I'm pretty sure that somewhere deep down inside I am just a little old lady in disguise. Why do I say that you ask? Well, mostly, because I have recently realized that I have an intense love for things made of crystal or lace - things like random crystal bowls and lace handkerchiefs - things that make me picture those little old ladies that have lace doilies with an ornate crystal candy dish on them somewhere in their living room. You know the ones. If you're around my age, I'll bet your grandma had or still has one or two in her house. This revelation hit me after I got home from shopping recently and realized that the two new tops I had purchased were both antique lace-ish. I think what I like about lace and crystal is that they are so delicate and elegant. Okay - and they make me feel fancy! There, I said it, and it sounds kind of funny to me too, so go ahead and laugh at me a little. Funny thing is - I don't think I have any lace or glass items currently included in my household decor. Hmmmm....maybe I should embrace my inner old lady and set out a nice candy dish in the family room.

Spring Cleaning!

I am a person who despises clutter. I honestly have trouble sleeping in a room where things are untidy or unorganized. The hubby has actually gotten a little annoyed with me on more than one occasion in the past where I tossed out or donated things on one of my decluttering rampages, so I have learned over the years that no matter how useless that little electronic thingamajig looks - keep it unless you ask him, because surely as soon as you toss it your husband will come looking for it, but I digress...

My love of decluttering brings me to the topic at hand - Spring Cleaning - love, love, love it! I have a feeling there are a good percentage of folks that will read that comment and curse me a little - perhaps the words "crazy freak" come to mind? Or the now infamous "ain't nobody got time for that" phrase? That's right, I'm the weirdo that actually gets excited about cleaning, re-organizing the house and getting rid of stuff. It's amazing to me that even though I constantly tidy up, we still manage to acquire a bunch of clutter throughout the year. I like to blame it on the hubby and the little one, but admittedly some of it belongs to me as well. I like to do Fall and Spring cleaning as a means of re-organization. Even if there is not tons to be recycled or trashed, it's a nice time to do some deep cleaning and re-evaluate the current organization of things. Refresh everything. And it feels so great when it's done!

I think I will dedicate some posts over the next couple of weeks while I am working on the house to sharing my current organization/decluttering methods and tips. I've already just about finished the master bedroom, bathroom and closets, so I'll probably share those first.

Stay Tuned...

Update: my sisters and I have started a blog with lots of great organizing tips, recipes, craft projects, greener, healthier living tips and ideas, etc, so I am blogging my organizational posts over there for the Spring Cleaning fest...check it out:  http://awisewomansaid.blogspot.com/

Being Selfish

For most of my life, I have been a people pleaser, a natural care-giver, a shoulder to lean on. I like to make others happy. I like to take care of others. It's kind of who I am. There's nothing wrong with that usually. In fact, the tender heart that I used to curse for making me a vulnerable target I now wear on my sleeve proudly, because, as I said, it's who I am, and I would rather be overly caring and vulnerable any day as opposed to being a callous, self-centered individual. And truth be told, it makes me happy to care about others.

There is, however, a virtual line that has to be drawn in the dirt. That point where one begins to focus so much on others' wants and needs that it begins to deter from their own happiness or fulfillment. You can't always put everyone's needs ahead of your own, and you can't focus on helping others in an attempt to hide from facing your own emotional baggage. I had reached such a point. I had managed to continuously stuff my own wants, needs and emotions into a dark space in the corner of a closet - hidden but not forgotten - choosing to focus on anything but me, and let me tell you friends, that's not a healthy place to be. Something had to give, because, as we all know, you can only shove so much stuff into a space before it overflows, and when it does you're left with a mess of anger, resentment and grief.

So, for the past few months, I have been doing a lot of work on me. No one else. And in order to tackle this huge mound of emotional junk, I had to employ a tactic I'm not so fond of - being selfish. I couldn't worry about who I thought might need me or what I could do to make others happy. I just had to focus on me. You see, decluttering your soul is a difficult task, but just like decluttering anything else in your life, it feels so good when you make progress. It takes time and courage to confront things that you should have dealt with a long time ago - to finally truly feel them and all the emotions that accompany them and then to make peace and let go. There's even a little sense of grief and loss as you let them go when you've held on to certain moments, certain emotions for so long, but I guess when something has been a part of who you are for so long, it makes sense to mourn it a little once it's gone. It's been a very personal process, because one of the hardest parts about all this is that you have to do it yourself. No one else can feel those emotions, or relive those moments or tell you how to react and feel. Don't get me wrong - a friend, family member or therapist can certainly listen and be there for you, but in the end it is up to you.

I'm still a work in progress. Aren't we all? I still have things I'm working through, but I have come so far, and am starting on the fun part now which is learning who I am without those bottled up things from the past. There's room in my life now to rebuild relationships and try new things - find out who I am when I'm not helping people with one hand while holding the full closet door closed with the other. And I feel like this is an instance where being selfish was a good thing. I would not want to be so egocentric all the time, but I have learned that there's nothing wrong with some self focus. I think it's a matter of finding that balance, and I'm on my way.

Life without Cable - an update

While I'm sitting at the computer and am apparently in a chatty mood in a typing kind of way (did that just make any sense), I wanted to also give an update on our life without cable television. We cut the cable about 2 1/2 months ago Cutting the Cable, and I can honestly say it has been WONDERFUL! I was nervous, because I love watching TV, and up until 2 1/2 months ago, my TV was on pretty much all the time - sometimes even when I was asleep at night. The background noise from it was a comfort to me, especially if I was home alone.

I'll admit, the first week was a little tough. The house felt so quiet to me, and I felt kind of thrown off the normal routine without having my beloved random shows playing. I really did get used to it quickly, and I have to say so many good things have come from it. My whole family is watching much less TV per week, and I can see a change in how much more I am getting done each week as a result. I think having to make a conscious effort to decide what shows/episodes to pick to view is making us much more selective of our TV time. My daughter and I have also created a bonding time for us once a week where we cuddle up, eat some cheetos (yes - more junk food), watch the newest episodes of her favorite shows and laugh together. Loving every minute of it!

Before I start sounding like my family is SO terrific with our diminished TV time and we're oh so busy doing more important things I will make a confession. There are, of course, other electronics in the house, and the hubby still loves his XBox, the little one stills spends a little too much time playing games on either the XBox or her Kindle, and I still love wasting some time each day on Pinterest. But, I can say that for myself specifically, I have definitely reduced my computer time and have used that time to get back to other hobbies that I enjoy and have even managed to find time to start reading again.

How did we do it? We have a monthly subscription to Netflix streaming plan for $8/month. They actually have quite a few TV show options available. We've even discovered a few shows that we never watched until now. If you want even more options or more recent movies available, you can also add the DVD plan, but we really haven't needed it yet. Once we catch up on some of these series that we haven't watched before, we might add the DVDs for even more content, but even if we do, it's just another $8/month. $16/month is not too shabby compared to the $85 we were paying for cable (and we still had the streaming Netflix at that time, so really $93). We have many options for watching the Netflix either through the smart TV, the XBox, computer, Kindle Fire or the Apple TV.

What about new episodes of our favorite shows? Most major networks show the most recent episodes on their websites a day or so after they air, so I have one of two choices. If it is just me watching - such as my weekly fix of Pretty Little Liars. (I know, I know, I probably shouldn't admit that I am addicted to that show, but I am SO into it! Dying for the new season to start already!) I just watch it on my computer via the website. If it's something that I want to watch on the TV (like new episodes of New Girl with the hubby, so we can laugh together at Schmidt's obnoxious antics), that's where the Apple TV comes in. There is a feature called  Airplay Mirroring - whatever I am playing on my computer will show on the TV screen, so I simply play the episode on the website on my computer and it plays on the TV too, so we can all see it. On a side note - DO NOT waste your money on hulu plus. They have very little content and what they do have expires fairly quickly. I don't recommend it at all! You can still use the regular free hulu which is similar, although I haven't really needed it.

I could see this being difficult if you're a sports lover, but no one in my household is, so we're alright. We're also not big news watchers, but once again, there are websites for the local new stations too that are kept updated.

Whew....that was a long post! I've just had several people ask me how we're living without a cable subscription, so...there it is! 

Healthy New Me

I'm going to be honest here - I LOVE junk food! I think most people do, but I would definitely say I have an unhealthy love affair with candy and potato chips. My favorite thing in the world to eat is plain potato chips. I know, you're thinking - really Em? of all the delicious treats out there both salty and sweet you choose the plain old chip? It's true - something about that simple, salty delicious crunch makes me happy. I would pass up a cookie any day for some chips.

As usual - I'm rambling about just a small portion of the actual discussion here. :) I've been trying to start eating better. Well, in truth, I've been trying on and off for years and always seem to slip back into my comfortable spot of filling my pantry with processed, fattening junk. So, here I go again, trying to make a change. I'm determined to get myself and my family into healthier, more natural eating choices. For the hubby it's easy, he genuinely likes to eat healthy and has admirable self control when it comes to food. Don't get me wrong - the man can throw down a roll of raw chocolate chip cookie dough like nothing I've ever seen, but he can also bypass it any time he chooses to, which is where we differ. For me - if it's in the kitchen, I can't resist!

So, I figured I will take you along with me on this journey to healthier eating. I plan to try some new things, and I already know that I will discover some delicious new things and will be appalled at the grossness of others. To start, here are my overall goals:

1 - less processed/preserved food = more natural foods
2 - definitely more fruits and veggies
3 - more local foods
4 - no red meat = lean chicken, turkey and fish only
5 - less processed sugar = natural sugars

I'm not saying I'm not going to eat any candy or chips ever, because, let's face it, that is completely unrealistic at this point, but I'm definitely going to limit it. And who knows, maybe someday I won't crave the junk. Heck - I never thought I could kick the soda habit, and these days I would say I only have a soda about once a month. So, here I go - wish me luck on kicking the junk out of my life! Well, okay, to be totally honest - first I plan to overindulge in Easter candy this weekend - I mean who could resist some peeps and cadbury mini eggs?!

Rockin' Robin

For the past week, every morning there has been a beautiful, fat robin in the backyard. I look out every morning and that chubby little, red-breasted bird makes me smile. It makes me smile for a few of reasons - 1) because it is just so fat and cute! - 2) because I love birds - makes me happy to watch them flit around, and 3) because it makes me think of Spring and with the past couple of days being a little warmer I'm beginning to feel it in the air! I love Spring - when everything is fresh and new, when all the flowers and trees pop back to colorful life. I'm ready to come out of hibernation and get back outside!

The Dog Ate My Lunchbox...

My dog, that I love dearly, can be...well....let's just say a pain in my butt at times. He has separation anxiety as many labs do. He has always had some degree of this problem, but it got a zillion times worse when his best friend (our other dog) passed away a couple of years ago, and then we moved to a different house. We have had to learn to follow a specific routine when we decide to leave him home alone even just for a few minutes. We have to raise the blinds, because otherwise he will tear them up while trying to see out the window - looking for us I assume. We have to put away any random objects like toys, remotes and other misc, because we never know what he will decide to destroy while in his frantic rampage. We also have to close off all the bedroom and bathroom doors as he has been known to hop in and out of the bathtubs and destroy boxes of kleenex and shampoo bottles. Not sure what happens there?! He has progressively gotten better, and now tends to mostly wait by the door for us until we get home, but we still follow the routine of putting everything away just in case. Why not crate/kennel him you might ask? Yeah, well...we used to do that, and it worked well for a little while until one day he got in a frenzy and literally chewed his way out of a metal kennel. We came home to find a bedroom that looked like a tornado went through it, a broken kennel, and a dog with a broken fang. As a result, we got the pleasure of paying a significant surgical bill to have the rest of the tooth removed, and we now often refer to him as our 3-fanged dog, big, black dog. So, needless to say...no more kennels.

This past week, he was left alone while we went out to eat, and when we came home, he was happily chewing away at a small cardboard box?? Turns out someone (okay - I admit it was me) had eaten a frozen meal and left the empty container next to the sink - forgetting to toss it in the trash (which incidentally we also have to keep locked away in a cabinet, so he won't stick his happy, little nose in there on a regular basis). Fast forward to the next evening when we once again left him alone to run some errands. We came home to find he had pulled the little one's lunchbox off the kitchen counter (even though it was empty) and proceeded to lick it and chew on it a bit. Apparently, it stilled smelled like lunch. *Sigh* She was none to pleased with him! So, now we have to add to our routine - make sure there is nothing edible, or that smells edible, on the kitchen counters. Crazy dog!

Meanwhile, I did not have time to go buy the little one a new lunchbox before school the next day, so she took her lunch in a little purse/tote bag. I told her, on the bright side, she at least had an interesting story to tell at the lunch table - the dog ate my homework  lunchbox...

Show the Love

"Love your friends and family and make your best attempts to show them that love every day - not because you fear they might not be here tomorrow, not because any religion or rule of society tells you to do so. Love shouldn't be based on fear or obligation. Show them you love them, because it is what they deserve, and it is what you deserve, and it is the natural and joyful thing to do."

 

The above quote was my facebook status today, and below I will fill you in on why I was inspired to write it...

I have been exposed to several instances lately where quotes have arisen giving the repeating theme of "show those you love that you love them, because they might not be here tomorrow". The most recent one I encountered was the story of a small boy who, by way of a freak accident, was struck in the head with a tree branch and has been fighting a difficult battle ever since. It is a heart-wrenching story for anyone to read - especially a parent. My heart goes out to anyone who has to stand by and watch their child fight such a war while all they can do is sit idly by their side and cheer them on, but unable to truly fight for them - lives forever changed. While I do think it is great to turn around and create a positive by hugging those we love and being thankful that they are safe and healthy when we see instances of others who are not quite so lucky, it does bring up some questions for me. Shouldn't we be loving them and appreciating them like that every day? How many of us really are? Why not?

We should simply love and show our appreciation without obligation and without being reminded to do so. I know I am guilty of letting days pass without truly showing my friends and family how much they mean to me, and I am making a decision right now to change that. Even if it is just a small reminder to let others know that I am thinking of them. I choose to do this not out of fear of losing them or fear of regrets. It is a natural reaction that I think we just need to allow to surface more often rather than setting it aside while we attend to other things. Truly, even if I knew with 100% certainty that the people I love would still be around tomorrow, they still deserve to know today how much they mean to me.

Stumbling Upon an Answer

I just happened to stumble upon a terrific blog this morning, and it really struck a chord in me, so I thought I'd share it with others. One of the things I have struggled with over the last couple of years is what my purpose is in life. I think this happens to a lot of us - particularly stay at home moms - when our kids go off to school all day, and we are left with the task of rediscovering ourselves once again and deciding - "what now"? Do I go back to school? Do I get a job? What is my calling in life? In a nutshell...who do I want to be?

I finally decided that it was important to me to go back to school, but then the question became - what will I study? I felt such an immense pressure to make the "right" choice, because unlike those days of being fresh out of high school, I no longer want to spend endless amounts of time in school changing my mind and my major. Been there done that as they say. So, I asked myself - what is my calling in life? what is my purpose? how can I help others and fulfill myself? I made a choice and started back to school only to have to take a hiatus while moving halfway across the country. Now, it is time again to start thinking about jumping back in, and once again my mind begins to flutter and spin - am I still on board with my previous choice? is it the right thing for me? If I make the "wrong" choice will I miss out on my true calling?

I thoroughly enjoyed this blog post and recommend it to others as an inspirational read if you're struggling with your purpose in life or even if you're not:

http://kriscarr.com/blog/the-myth-of-finding-your-purpose/

It made so much sense to me and made me feel instantly lighter as she explained that putting so much value on an "external purpose" doesn't make sense as there are too many ways that it can be unfulfilled or lost. Placing value on knowing ourselves, loving ourselves and nuturing ourselves is so much more important, the rest is just gravy - so to speak. It felt like I happened upon this blog post for a reason - a reminder to look within for the answers and fulfillment.

Cutting the Cable

The hubby and I have been talking for quite awhile about the prospect of living without cable. I know, I know, those that know me best and know that I tend to leave my TV on 24/7 are either laughing uncontrollably or are thinking - "are you nuts? you'll never survive!" I thought the same thing for awhile, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that 95% of the time, I am either watching reruns of old shows, watching movies/shows on Netflix or just have it on for the background noise and am not even actually watching it. Hubby doesn't watch TV except for the occasional movie/show with me, and I can report with certainty that the day will never come when I will attempt to take away the internet or his XBox, because I am quite certain that would end in a battle more gruesome than the world is ready for.

Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not saying I am giving up TV, because I enjoy it WAY too much! We're keeping Netflix on the TVs, so I can still watch as many "Everybody Loves Raymond" and "BTVS" reruns as always (if you don't know what BTVS stands for, then I'm not so sure that you are welcome to read my blog anymore...I'm just sayin'...). I'm just hoping to be a little more mindful of how much TV I am watching, and saving about $80/month has inspired me to do so. ;) We also have hulu, so those few newer episodes I like to watch will be available on the TV also - speaking of - if you don't watch New Girl or Modern Family you're totally missing out on some laughs!

Quit Your Whining!

2013 will be a year of a more positive and appreciative attitude for me! I hear so many around me (myself included) constantly whining about what they don't have, how stressed they are, how unfair things are or basically anything else they can find to gripe about. Why is it so easy for us to find the negative over the positive? I guess it's all about perspective. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I just suddenly noticed this phenomenon, but what did bring it back to my attention most recently was Facebook. Reading some positive, upbeat comments from a friend recently I realized - wow, most of the people on Facebook are just constantly complaining about something - I haven't seen an update this positive in awhile. I was refreshed to read some positive thoughts for a change.

I, personally, am going to make a conscious choice to focus more on the positives in my life. Appreciate the things I have. Truth be told, I SHOULD have very little to stress or complain about. I have all the things I need plus more, and currently I definitely don't appreciate that enough. I challenge others to do the same - next time you catch yourself complaining - just QUIT YOUR WHINING! and think of something that you are thankful for instead or a positive side of the current situation. Change the things that are not working for you, keep the ones that are, and enjoy life!